Tuesday, December 21, 2010
You see I always felt a magic in the air this time of year. I looked forward to curling up next to a crackling fire, the aroma of mulled cider, hot cocoa, and baked goodies wafting in from the kitchen. An evergreen standing tall, lights twinkling with all my childhood ornaments lovingly hanging from its branches. Outside large snowflakes drift down, blanketing the world white - perfect for bringing that special snowman to life.
This year however, I find myself lacking the spirit. Here it is 4 days until Christmas day and I haven't done a single thing. There is no tree (one of my most favorite traditions) standing proudly in my living room - we never got one or haven't gotten one yet. I never sent out holiday cards wishing everyone a merry Christmas. Even when people have been wishing me one, and I back - my heart isn't in it. We threw our family photo time out the window.
We did do a bit of Christmas shopping for Logan and Aslyn - Logan is getting old enough now to understand. This left me feeling even less spirited and disgusted. Disgusted by the herds of people pushing and crowding to get this or that. Children screaming and throwing tantrums because their mom and/or dad said they couldn't have something (this is another thing I am soooo very proud of Logan about. He took a toy horse off a shelf and showed it to JP and me. He carried it around and looked at it. When we told him to go put the horse back, he did just that, then walked off on his merry little way.) All I wanted to do was go home.
I have done everything I can think of (besides get the tree) to bring myself out of this blahness. I've baked, listened to Christmas music, watched my favorite holiday movies, we looked at the lights in Madrid - nothing has worked. Then I start feeling worse looking at Logan and how having two scrooge parents isn't fair to him.
All of this reminds me of an article I saw the other day titled, "Christmas - It's the Most Stressful Time of Year." Below this it read, "Remember when it used to be the most wonderful time of year?"